Friday, March 25, 2011

Hair plugs and Man boobs

Like a stale chicken nugget, Matt McNormal and I had no flavor. Date number two was just as dry as the first. No big deal.
Then I had this other guy, (whom I'm CERTAIN had hair plugs, but I'm trying to keep an open mind) ask me out on a date. I did the babysitter shuffle only to have him cancel on me! He says, "but don't forget about me!"
Don't worry asshole. I won't forget you were the guy who bailed on me after I busted my ass finding a babysitter, and stressed all day about covering up the freak zit on my cheek that won't go away.
Oh, and let me not forget ROSS. He and I exchanged a few emails on He asked for my phone number. The next afternoon I had a picture text pop up of him in his boxer briefs (is that a lil chubby I see? yes, it is) man-boobs and all. His tits were bigger than mine. I began to wonder: do they grant a discount for a couples liposuction?
All-in-all, this week was completely inappropriate and disturbing.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

this is rill

an actual "about me" copied-and-pasted from a dude who 'winked' at me:

I like some one that is out going and fun.....that is good with kids , and in joys being out doors !going camping .. and i like to shop .... some one that likes haveing a cup of coffee .. some one that in joye taking care of there self.... i like to have sone that would go work out with me..

= not a match.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Matt McNormal

Matt McNormal was a such relief. I'm no longer foolish enough to commit to dinner on a blind date, so we met for a drink.
First impression: great posture, perfect teeth, tall&trim but not lanky, not a whiff of cologne and a little bit of a country boy drawl.
We both ordered the Ultimate Margarita. He takes his rim unsalted. We blabbed for three hours over that one drink. (side note: I'm such a lightweight that half-way through the night I actually drooled on myself a little, but I don't think he caught it... I'm a complete disaster)
As we left he didn't ask for my phone number or another date. I chalked it up to a lack of chemistry (or the drool bomb) and wasn't that disappointed. Sure, we had a lot in common, and time zipped by, but I wasn't dying to jump the table.
Next day I had a very polite email from him: he had a great time, would like to take me out again.
:: Another order of Matt McNormal coming right up ::

come again??

eharmony got shut down immediately following a conversation with a "spiritual" jewish lad who loves yoga, sushi and rugby. we exchanged a few emails. most were about normal things: music, yoga, fav vacation spots. then he hit me with a left cross, "yeah, i like pilates, too. if we start dating i'm going to take a few liberties with your pilates butt."
what say WHAT

first bahrain brian now this?
i need to take a bah-reather