Friday, April 8, 2011

One Stop Cop

   I think I always secretly wanted to date a cop. I mean...Fuck it, right?
   I've spent 1/2 my life doing things that would make a cop shake his head back-and-forth like Willow Smith, but like I said. Fuck it.
   Josh looked like a handsome bloke in his profile pictures: over 6 feet-tall, blond hair, blue eyes, a prominent nose, a strong jaw line and a healthy dusting of freckles. All of his pictures showed him with a wide, closed- mouth smile. There was a kindness in his eyes that appealed to me. Looked sweet, really.
   Other than the fact that we are both single parents of ADORABLE little girls, we had nothing in common. Nothing. He was a MIX FM kinda guy, and Journey makes me wanna pluck my eyelashes out. He loved Tosh.O, and action movies; I can't stand either. He'd never had Indian food, and was nervous to try it because spicy food makes his sinuses hurt from when he was stabbed in the face (true story). He didn't exercise, hated hip-hop music, drank Coors light, loved NASCAR and had ze-ro sense of humor. I've laughed harder at a smeared turd on the ground (true story).
   Our short-lived relationship occurred over the phone: text messages and phone calls. I would call him on my way home from work most days. Every one of those phone conversations started with him asking, "Are you speeding?" Yes I was, I'd tell him. Ten miles over the legal limit. "Ahh that's nothin," he'd say.
   He worked nights and would call me from the patrol car. I got a thorough education on the amount of drugs that run per day through his district. He was happy to share Copper stories in his deep monotone voice; a distant chuckle every now and then as he recalled the situations. I could almost hear him shaking his head.
   Josh was a newbie copper. He'd spent 6 years in the Air Force, and was deployed three times. He had some stories, I'll tell ya. Story after story kept me coming back for more.
   Two weeks of texts and phone calls, and he never asked me out on a date. Never even brought it up. I told him I'm not looking for a phone-a-friend. Another 10 days later he asked me out on Friday for a date on Monday, but didn't suggest any concrete plans. Saturday and Sunday passed without a word. Monday came and almost went before he cancelled. He blamed the sudden change of plans on his daughter.
   "Let's just forget it all completely." I texted back.
   "Ok." he said.


  1. Noooooooooooooooooooooo. You are right, no Phone-A-Friend needed. But, Don't Stop Beee-leeevin!

  2. awwwwwwwwww (true story)
    i love you.

  3. Tapping fingers....waiting....hand on my chin....waiting....still waiting and tapping....♥♥♥♥♥

  4. still tapping...tap....tappa tap tap......♥♥♥♥♥